"K" is for Kindergarten!

One day (well, actually, lots and lots of days,) but on one day in particular when Coulter was three, we were having, for lack of a better term, "one of those days." You know, one of those days that reminds you that the terrible 2's weren't so terrible after all. In fact, they were down-right terrific! One of those days when you question your ability to parent, thinking that maybe, just maybe you're not cut out for this. One of those days when out of no-where we decide to throw the mother of all tantrums over a pair of gloves. Evidently, I put them on wrong, and to this day I'm not sure what I did, but trust me when I say the gloves were very, very wrong.


I was picking him up from a play date when the glove incident occurred. When we got into the car, I very calmly and gently (right!) explained that in our family, we don't cry about clothes. We don't cry about gloves.We cry when we're hurt. There was no reaction to my inspired mommy speech, save for more crying. Finally, having reached the pinnacle of my patience, I interrupted with a little white lie: "Coulter, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but I had planned to take you to McDonald's for lunch only now, because of your poor choices, we don't get to go." More crying. Sobbing. And then, after a little while, the crying slowed, then stopped. Silence. Total silence.

Now, here's how the remainder of the conversation played out:
C: "Mom, Wesley hit me today."
M: "Coulter, I'm so sorry. That must have hurt, but I'm sure it was an accident."
C: "It wasn't an accident. It was on purpose."
M: "Oh, well, that must have hurt your feelings."
C: "It did."
More silence and the slight hint of a smile on my face because I so knew where this was going.
C: "Mom, that's why I was crying before. It wasn't about the gloves." (I mean, come on, who cries about gloves, right?) "It was about Wesley hitting me."
M: "Oh, well, I can see where that would make you sad."
Silence. Waiting.
C: "Mom, since I was crying about getting hit and NOT about the gloves, may we please still get to go to
Mc Donald's, you know, since I was crying about being hurt?"

Bam! And there it was! Now, I know what you're thinking. Surely she held strong. Surely she didn't give into his blatant manipulation. Are you kidding? Of course I did. I figured that any 3 year old who could come up with that wild tale (and if you knew how sweet and gentle Wesley is then you'd know just how wild it was,) definitely deserved a happy meal. I also knew, if perhaps not at that exact moment, but after several of those sorts of moments that we would be sending Coulter to Kindergarten sooner rather than later.

The problem, (if there is one,) is that Coulter has a May birthday. Not really in the Spring, where most parents I know send, but not really a Summer birthday either, where most parents I know wait. As you're probably aware, opinions run strong when it comes "to send or not to send." Even (or perhaps, especially) within our own family, we have a plethora of opinions. Coulter's grandma thinks 5 years olds should not go to Kindergarten. Period. She has, understandably, based this opinion on the successful experiences of her first 4 grandchildren who went at age 6. I get this. Why mess with a formula that's working? Coulter's other Grandmother, a life long educator, believes that her first born grandson (who, now technically is her 4th born grandson which is a very long story I'll reserve for another time,) is absolutely ready and holding him back would serve more harm than good. And, in case you thought we had both sides of the "debate" covered, enter Pop; Pop, who, as Coulter would say is his "only g'pa still on the ground," thinks we should have sent him last year, his grandson being a genius and all!

So, with all these opinions, what's a Mother to do? (Ughm, I mean what are his parents to do?) In Kindermusik we encourage parents "to follow the child." And truthfully, what better choice is there? Instead of generically following a birth date, perhaps we should simply follow the child. Please don't get me wrong. I'm in no hurry for this to happen. I wish it could be "follow the parent." Because if that were the case, we'd keep him home for sure. I'm not ready for Kindergarten. I'm not ready for him to be gone all day. I'm not ready to give up traveling with no regard to school schedules. I'm not ready to give up afternoon play dates and morning Kindermusik. I'm not ready to give the better part of our day to some other woman (or man, except that I already know it will be a woman....a stranger, really.) I'm not ready to start folders and packets and PTA. I'm not ready, but he is. And so it goes.

Last week Coulter overheard me ask Pam if she could stay late on the evening of Coulter's Kindergarten Round-Up so that we wouldn't have to take Emma Claire. Later that night during our reading, snuggling, back-scratching, tucking-in bedtime routine, Coulter informed me that we didn't need Pam because grown-ups don't go to Kindergarten Round-Up. "We go by ourselves and then parents go later, on a different night." I explained that, sadly enough, Harvey Dunn invites parents and children to come together. "Oh," Silence. "Well, can you and Daddy at least wait outside?"

Yes, he is ready. Yes, he is going. And as for me? Well, I still I have about 5 months. Regardless, it can pretty much be summed up with a good game of Hide and Seek. "READY OR NOT, MOM! HERE IT COMES!"