These Little Lights of Mine

At the beginning of the year I started writing a blog for Kindermusik by Bright Beginnings Studios (say that ten times!)  I think some people might have considered the blog too personal for a team business; one voice speaking for many. It was the only way I knew how to write, though, because I have been teaching Kindermusik for the past 10 years and I've been a Kindermusik Mom for almost five. The line between my professional and personal life faded long ago. And, you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.


Now to be honest, I’ve always felt that I handled both aspects of my Kindermusik life with grace and professionalism (you know, humbly speaking.) I’ve often thought how fortunate Coulter is to have a music teacher as a mom. I mean he’ll be so much more prepared than the others students, right? He’ll have someone who knows what it takes and can give him the support and encouragement that he needs. I realize that he might prefer something cooler like a fireman (woman?) for a mom, or perhaps some awesome sports oriented mom who would know you’re supposed to bring a glove and wear long pants to t-ball practice (a random example, obviously!) But he doesn’t; he has a music teacher for a mom and you’d think this would be helpful in at least one area of his life. As it turns out, not so much!

This year Coulter has been participating in Kindermusik for the Young Child. It is, for lack of a better description, a pre-piano course that encompasses everything from note reading and rhythms to instrument families and composers (or, as Coulter would say, “the guys who wore wigs and are already dead.”) Children, ages 4 ½ to 7, attend the first 45 minutes alone and grownups join for the last ten. Children are learning not only to read notes, but to sing and play short melodies on the glockenspiel. It is the only Kindermusik class that has weekly at-home lessons. Weekly at-home lessons that we continually forget to do. Some days I feel like everyone else gets the God-allotted seven days, but that I’m stuck with only six. I mean how else do I continually find us unprepared on Saturday mornings for Ms. Wendy’s class?

I teach my own Young Child class on Fridays. Again, you’d think this would be helpful. From this experience, however, I have come to realize that on Fridays I am (or try to be) an understanding, patient, loving teacher who knows that children thrive on schedule and routine and structure. I try to create a positive atmosphere for learning where no-one feels left behind and certainly where no child ever feels badly if they haven’t completed the “homework.”(Although sometimes I do joke with parents that perhaps more at-home time is needed.) On Friday I would never lose my patience with a child, knowing that each child is trying their best and that this class, if nothing else, is about process not performance. Well, that’s me on Fridays. Less than 24 hours later, I turn in to psycho Saturday Mom; an insecure, over-anxious stage-mom-to be. Structure and routine have gone out the window all week and suddenly I expect Coulter to know his lesson. I have no patience for mistakes, especially if I feel like he’s not trying. I am easily frustrated and I snap at him for not listening. A couple of weeks ago, I even went so far as to have Coulter practice in the car. He had just finished with a soccer game. He was tired and hungry and looking forward, I suspect, to a little break. Instead, I took out the glockenspiel, held the music up behind me (fortunately I wasn’t driving) and made Coulter practice “Mouse Mousie” for the 15 minute drive to Kindermusik. He had played it so much that by the time we got there, Emma Claire had started singing it (just a few more minutes and she probably could have played it, too!)So, what does this say about me?


Well, if the training course I recently completed for my job at Children's Home is to be trusted, it means I’m afraid. The course is founded on the principle that all behavior is communication and communication is either love based or fear based. When my students come to me on Friday, I have nothing to fear. But with Coulter, I have plenty to fear. Will Ms.Wendy know if we haven’t practiced? (duh!)What will the other parents think if Coulter, Ms. Myra’s son, isn’t prepared? Will they think he’s not smart? Not talented? I can just hear the therapist at our school, “Perhaps you are fearful of what his “performance” says about you and maybe you’re thinking if you can’t be a good Kindermusik Mom (whatever that is,) how can you be a good Kindermusik teacher?” Well, I wasn’t exactly thinking that, you know, but whatever!

The truth is, I haven’t really had my “aha” moment with this. I do know that I am a better teacher to children other than my own and I know that home schooling will not be an option for us. I mean seriously, if I can’t get through “Mouse Mousie” without nearly losing it, how would we possibly take on Calculus? Who am I kidding, I didn’t even take Calculus. If it weren’t for spell check, I wouldn’t even know how to spell Calculus. And speaking with both my teacher and mom voice, I think perhaps we all need to relax and give our children (and ourselves!) a break. They will find their talents, their gifts and  their joys. They will excel; they will shine; they will find their way. And at the end of the day, I know that the experience he is having is, as Kindermusik promises, “a good beginning that will not end.” I know that Ms. Wendy is laying a foundation for future learning and we’ll get there together, even if we did fail Mouse Mousie week!